You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
