I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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