miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize