i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize