I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
