Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
