i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize