I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
