Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize