i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
