booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
