The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
