Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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