dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fuck appropriateness.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize