bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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