Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize