Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize