Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
