He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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