My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
