It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
