I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
