I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is Oprah even human
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
