On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
