So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
