So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
