I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
