how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
