There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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