it was like eating out sand paper
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
