Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
