I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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