Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
