just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
