plz talk dirty to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
