so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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