You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
