Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
