Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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