I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
