Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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