if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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