I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
