she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
