just tell him i said nine months
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
