do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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