the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.