Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
