I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
