TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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