Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
