There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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