In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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