im six kinds of drunk right now
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
