I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize