We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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