its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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