u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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