I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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