We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
so much tequila, so little girl.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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