so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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