the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
