so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
